News on the books of Matthew Rollins, plus help for aspiring authors in the form of book and movie reviews through the lens of the Hero's Journey and other thoughts on the craft of writing.
Not a writer. Not an aspiring writer. An honest-to-goodness author.
It’s interesting that funny little distinction exists. I am very much the same person today as I was yesterday: slightly older, arguably wiser, perhaps in some circles more distinguished, and certainly in the case of my dermatologist, more profitable. Yet I digress.
I published a book. Steelwing, a middle grade-tween video game fantasy. It’s super fun. Got a lot of traction with literary agents with it, but ultimately none of them “fell in love” with it, as they all like to say. For some, I think the video game setting wasn’t their cup of tea. For others, maybe my writing style didn’t jive with them. Yet for all, I think the honest answer was this: “I don’t know anyone who will buy this right now.”
And by someone, we’re talking acquisition editors at a traditional publishing house. Large or small, the agents and AEs talk. So agents know what AEs are looking for. There are myriad hurdles to get past even if you get to the point where you get an agent and an acquisition editor picks up your story. But the agent’s primary concern is to filter through their slush pile for the rare gems that happen to be at least two things: decent enough writing and something they know with reasonable confidence at least one acquisition editor already wants.
So that wasn’t Steelwing. C’est la vie.
What’s a writer with a “good enough but not wanted” story to do? Do it themselves.
I got Vellum. I learned how to format the interior pages.
I scoured the internet for a cover artist that was both awesome and within my budget.
I learned the mechanisms of setup in both Amazon KDP and Ingram Spark (where bookstores and libraries get their books).
I decided to create my own business, Building Worlds Books, and become my own publisher.
And I picked a date out of the blue. Gave myself a deadline to just say it’s ready. Without that, I’m certain this process could have dragged on and on. My eye for detail is keen, and my first-born perfectionism complex is pronounced. Amazon and Ingram will let you update files after things are launched, which I’m sure will be needed. So I’ll be okay. The hardcover’s cover file hasn’t passed Amazon’s scrutiny yet, and undoubtedly there’ll be a typo or misnomer or some other textual oddity that I won’t abide existing and will want to fix. So that’s nice. But it’s out there as of today.
Unfortunately, that’s just the beginning. Now comes the marketing. And the marketing. And the marketing. I’ve gotta get better at using social media. I need to buy some ads on Amazon and Facebook. Self-publishing is definitely a pay-to-play arena.
And now that Steelwing’s book birthday has arrived, I come to the understanding that today is not crossing the finish line, but starting the race. Everything up to this point has been training. Now comes the marathon of marketing. Ads. Book signings. Getting the word out. Rinse, repeat.
Here’s where I put on the salesman hat: If you’d like a signed copy of Steelwing, head over to Building Worlds Books and click the shop link. I’m doing the fulfilment all by myself, so it will be done with love and kindness.
If you’d like a less expensive, unsigned copy, head over to Amazon (sponsored link), where I will appreciate you just as much.
I also have a book signing coming up already on Sunday, November 12th from 1:00PM-3:00PM at the Half Price Books flagship bookstore in Dallas. 5803 E NW Hwy, Dallas, TX 75231. I will have books there for sale. Come say hi!
That’s it for now. Lots more to come on how the whole process went down, what I’ve learned, and what’s in store for the future. Stay tuned! M
There are some genre rules writers just can’t ignore. But with some creative choices, you can still create a unique story while satisfying reader expectations.
Are you a writer who wants to break free from the shackles of genre conventions? Do you want to be remembered as the one who shook up the literary world with your unabashedly unique storytelling? Well, hold your horses, because I’ve got some news for you: it’s not that simple.
As much as we love a good original story, there are some rules writers just can’t ignore. Genre fiction has certain expectations, and while adhering a formula might seem limiting, there’s a reason those expectations exist. They work. In my previous post, I detailed why writers must be good readers. One of the most important reasons is so that we can understand the formulas that make genre fiction successful.
Fear not. Following a recipe doesn’t mean you can’t be original (insert your favorite writers-are-bakers metaphor here). In fact, some of the most memorable books in recent years have managed to be both unconventional and conventional at the same time. Let’s take a look at some examples (note, these feature affiliate links to Amazon in case you’re eager to make a purchase):
Sure, we’ve seen the magical school trope before. A lot. But Novik takes it to a whole new level by creating a world where the school itself is trying to kill its students. It’s a fresh take on a familiar concept. There are still fantasy bread-and-butter tropes like rival factions, a slow-burn romance, historical references, and political themes, but within the killer school bounds she truly delivers on the key elements readers expect from a fantasy novel: magic, world-building, and a strong protagonist. Novik’s choice of first-person point of view blends internal monologues and snarky commentary with the overarching plot structure which adds a sense of closeness for the reader.
Sci-fi: Amie Kaufman and Jay Kristoff’s “Illuminae“
Told through a series of documents and transcripts, “Illuminae” is not your average sci-fi novel. The story’s presentation as a dossier of interviews, chat logs, pictures, diagrams, and other digital files allows for an immersive experience that makes readers feel like they’re part of the action by assuming the role of the investigator after an interstellar incident. Despite the complete lack of narrative, it still hits all the right notes: spaceships (many), explosions (lots), life-or-death decisions (every turn), a gripping plot, and plenty of action. By breaking the mold of traditional narrative structure, Kaufman and Kristoff keeps things fresh while still satisfying readers’ expectations.
Romance novels often follow a predictable formula: girl meets boy, they fall in love, they hit a bump in the road, but eventually they end up together. “Well, That Was Unexpected” manages to surprise with twists at every turn. Its rom-com staples include characters who are flawed and relatable, cringe-inducing YA awkwardness, and a storyline that’s both hilarious and heartwarming. But those staples are all set against a rich cultural immersion in Indonesia, both in place and family. It also features awesome side characters that are, at times, even more engrossing than the protagonists. Additionally, Sutanto’s use of multiple narrators, including one who isn’t involved in the central romance, adds depth and complexity to the story, making it far more than just a typical rom-com.
A good thriller needs to keep readers on the edge of their seat, and “The Silent Patient” does just that. But Michaelides also manages to subvert expectations by flipping the narrative on its head. Instead of following the detective trying to solve the case, we’re following the patient who’s at the center of it all. It’s a clever twist that keeps readers guessing until the very end. Michaelides’ use of a non-linear narrative structure, jumping between present-day events and flashbacks to the past, adds layers of intrigue to the story, further enhancing the thriller experience.
Let’s try an exercise. I made the above photo on the AI diffusion art site Midjourney. Based on that picture alone, I will, on the fly right now, come up with an unconventional approach to the story that is represented by the thriller/supernatural/fantasy/whatever that picture is. I’ll give myself two minutes to brainstorm. Grab a pen and paper (or type it out) and come up with a query blurb with me. Here goes:
Carter Bullford’s life was completely on track. High profile corporate law gig with a prime NYC office. Aston Martin. Private island off the Keys. Gorgeous Val and stunning Katy both after his attention. But most importantly of all, the sins of his past had been completely forgotten.
A legal malpractice suit brings that all to a halt. Piece by piece, everything that he built crashes down and his life comes to ruin. Then the storm comes. Black as night clouds belch red lightning. One by one, every person in Carter’s life disappears into the storm. The city grinds to a halt with scant few left to run it. Desperate for an end, Carter finds the storm won’t claim him. When he comes across Dalia, a former colleague he screwed when he left her firm, the tatters of his world are obliterated.
Turns out, he’s not in his world, he’s in ours. For reasons forgotten, Carter had stopped trying to find a way home. Now, home has found him, his sins have reemerged, and he’s in for the trial of his life. Conviction means going home. Exoneration means exile on Earth. He’s not sure which one’s worse.
Okay, pencils down. So, that could be a hot mess, but it could be really fun. At the very least, it sounds different. What (correctly submitted to) genre agent wouldn’t at least take a peek at the first few pages? Aimed toward the sci-fi alien politics crowd, it plays like a legal procedural. Or maybe it’s for the legal procedural fans who get an emotional tale of interplanetary intrigue amidst the court battle. Don’t expect me to flesh this one out into 100k words; it’s going to the bottom of my book ideas pile. But, hopefully you get the point.
The point is, genre conventions exist for a reason. They’re the building blocks of a successful story. But that doesn’t mean you can’t be original within those constraints. In fact, by taking a well-worn trope and giving it a unique spin, you just might create something truly memorable. So fully embrace the tried and true boundaries that your genre readers love and expect, then go ahead and break them – with a scalpel.
Writers must read? More often than not, the first piece of advice given to an aspiring author is they need to be good readers. On the surface, it seems like good advice, but the reasons why it is so important don’t always follow up the advice.
Hello 2023! Bit of a long pause to the blog with the holidays, couple bouts of bronchitis, ski vacation, sick fam, yada yada. But I’m back for more writing fun, and some news on two of my books (next post).
But first, a thought on reading, as a writer. There are many facets to the sage wisdom, so let’s take a deeper dive into a few.
Writers must read in their genre The reasons for this are pretty obvious. You need to know what’s popular. What has come before you. Where the market is saturated, and where there are opportunities to carve a niche. What’s hot (imagine anything fantasy school-related after Harry Potter, or vampires and werewolves after Twilight)? What’s overdone (those things a few years later)? If your goal is just to write a specific story, without any kind of publishing-related goals other than to just ‘put it out there’, then write the story your heart wants to write. If you aim to be a financially successful author, then you need read your genre’s tea leaves, and if not be an expert, be at least aware.
Writers must read outside their genre Maybe a little less obvious here. Most fiction stories contain elements from multiple genres. Your historical romance might have a bit of mystery to it. Your swashbuckling space opera has a heist subplot. Your epic fantasy turns into a costumed police procedural. You need to appreciate the elements (tropes, structure, character types, etc.) that make stories in those genres successful, if you are to be successful in applying horror to your bake-sale comedy.
Writers must read recent releases This is good advice, but especially applies to anyone hoping to be traditionally published. You need to know what agents (and publishing houses) are looking for, what’s selling, and where the market is headed. In addition to reading recent books, you have to follow up by absorbing any metadata you can find about them via sites like Publisher’s Marketplace.
Writers must read debut authors Right next to #3 is this, and also important to those who want to find a literary agent. You need to understand (and incorporate) trends from modern publishing. Read a dozen debut novels and identify trends – how do the opening pages look? Lots of dialogue? Lots of action? How much backstory? How purple is the prose? Is the story told chronologically or out of order? If your 150k-word moose-on-skis spy thriller doesn’t conform to what publishers want right this moment from a debut author, you’re guaranteed to not get an agent’s attention.
Writers must readclassics This one, to me, is probably the least important, because we only have so much time in our day to dedicate to reading. I think an aspiring writer will get more mileage out of reading modern works simply because today’s publishers aren’t looking for Tolkien, they’re looking for VE Schwab. Read classics if it’s important to you. Do it so you’re versed in your genre’s history, but do it with the understanding that all the classics have serious flaws when looked at with a modern publisher’s lens.
Writers must read for ideas This one is my favorite, and a great example of it struck me this week (and what kicked me in the butt to get back onto my blog). I am at present listening to the audiobook of a fantasy titled Unraveller. About a quarter of the way in, the protagonists are deep in a murky forest when one protagonist remarks (I’m paraphrasing) that she is natively able to discern the noises and nuances of the marsh far better than her companion and his ‘highland ears’. Immediately when I heard that, I thought “Wow, that is a great piece of worldbuilding.” In a single sentence, we’re educated on the protagonists’ regions of upbringing, differences in their observational abilities, and the makeup of their environment. Now, I am not advocating that you go out and copy another author’s hard work. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with saying your grizzled space pirate can isolate the mating calls of the Nimbus VII glow-monkeys ten clicks sooner than his alien co-pilot can.
So there you go, writers. Some great reasons to be a great reader. If anyone in your writing sphere (writing group, classes, critique partners, etc.) says they don’t think reading is important for writers, you have my emphatic endorsement to completely ignore anything they have to say.
Hello everyone, welcome back! The end of summer is approaching, and the insane heat here in Texas has let up (a touch). Took some time off for an epic, 7-week European adventure in ten cities across five countries. Didn’t get much of any writing done, but did have plenty of time for thinking about my completed manuscripts and works-in-progress.
About a quarter into the trip, I got rejection emails on back-to-back days from the final two full manuscript request queries I had unresolved for a middle grade video game fantasy manuscript. Which sucked, of course. This story has been queried a ton. Dozens of cold queries, plus at least twenty pitch sessions across several writing conferences, all of which but one resulted in requests for pages. Half of all of these queries received no reply at all, which is (I assume) a typical response rate for modern day literary agents. Most of the rejections were canned form letters with nothing meaningful to say (typical). A few rejections said they liked what I had submitted, but it just didn’t grab the agent enough to request more.
It wasn’t all bad though. I had a total of seven full requests on this story, six from conference pitches and one from a slush pile cold query. But a pattern had developed over time with the limited feedback I had received from agents: they liked the writing and voice, they liked the characters, but I wasn’t getting to the heart of the adventure soon enough.
So, armed with time to think while riding across Europe on planes, trains, and automobiles, I came up with a plan of action for another revision to my story.
Actually, I already knew what I had to do. Kill the darlings.
We authors, especially those of us in the worldbuilding-heavy fantasy/sci-fi genres, love to add details. Lots of details. Character details. Setting details. Historical details. Details of detailed details. All the details. And a lot of times, readers eat them up.
However, what the prevailing wisdom for an author seeking first-time representation tells us is that we should keep our manuscripts lean and mean. What does that mean for all of those detailed details? Only keep what’s necessary.
So, as I was working through the first revision of this middle grade story, about two chapters’ worth stuck out to me as entirely extraneous. The story is set in my old college town. At the end of every summer the town has a huge outdoor festival, and I wrote a little scene where the heroine has to face some anxieties while going through the crowd. Super fun, well-written, relevant to the character, and enjoyable to all those who had beta read the story, and -bonus- a personal connection for me the author. The true definition of a darling.
BUT
When you start getting a pattern of feedback from agents telling you the story isn’t moving along quick enough, it’s time for those things to go. Why? Because the pace suffers. An agent’s professional success depends on an ability to identify a commercially viable story out of a pile of thousands. So, if their slow-plot alarm bells are ringing, you’d better pay attention.
Back to my story. The heroine, while indeed facing anxieties (conflict) in her trip through the festival crowd, didn’t particularly grow any from the experience. She went on to face more anxieties in other scenes not long after. And while it was relevant to her internal journey, it wasn’t particularly connected to the external plot at all. The festival has nothing to do with the adventure of the plot. So, it had to go. Along with every other reference to the festival. Plus another handful of similar occurrences, where the progress of the plot was bogged down for a fun, but unnecessary detour.
And oh, the pain. Making deep revision cuts can be heartbreaking. I carved out nearly 10% of my story, dropping from 56k words to 51k. All darlings. All gone to the bin. Actually, they’re saved in a separate file that I can go back to in one of two scenarios. 1) After a publisher has fallen in love with my lean and mean manuscript and asks for some more words to make the book a little longer. 2) After this story is published and a sequel calls for the heroine to work her way through a crowd. Grab that text, edit it up, and paste it in. In this digital age, nothing is truly lost, so I say be a little more generous with that scalpel.
Great examples of this lean and mean strategy are the early entries in the Harry Potter series. The first two books are very light on extraneous worldbuilding details, and only later on in books three and onward does JK Rowling add the little interesting flourishes that may not see actual payoff of relevance until a later volume, if at all. The evidence is right there on the shelf.
So, as you’re revising and asking yourself, “Won’t anyone think of those poor, innocent darlings?”
Thinking about attending a writing conference? Here’s what you can expect!
Well I’m mostly recovered from my respiratory infection, so it’s time to talk Writing Conferences! The above photo is from the Hurst Conference Center, which is the site of the DFW Writer’s Conference (aka, DFWCon). After missing 2020 and being online-only last year, DFWCon is going in-person again October 8-9, 2022. Check it out here if you’re in the area and interested. I plan to be there! Favor the online thing? Check out Writing Day Workshops‘ online events, they do one every month (though they will resume in-person at some point in the future).
The 3 Sides to Every Writing Conference
Listed in order of importance (my opinion): Pitching, Classes, Networking
PITCHING
One of the two big reasons to go to a writing conference is the opportunity to pitch to agents. As I have discussed previously in my Lessons from Querying posts (1, 2, 3), getting representation from a literary agent is difficult. Like hitting a 100-mph fastball difficult. So finding any avenue to help you through that process will greatly increase your chances, and there is no better way to do that than in-person pitch sessions with an agent.
Why? Well in that 8 to 10-minute window, you’re given the opportunity to cross several agent hurdles at once:
Did you write something that is of interest to the agent?
Are you passionate about writing and what you’ve written in particular?
Did you throw your story together, or put some real effort into the crafting of it?
Are you a one-and-done author, or do you have a long-term writing career goal?
Are you rude, insensitive, bigoted, or possess other personality flaws that might prevent you from crossing the finish line with a publisher?
Do you seem like someone that would be fun/easy to work with?
The wrong answer to any of those is an easy reject for the agent, so it also helps them skip to the ultimate end in the event you pass the first hurdle that would have gotten you past the slush pile into deeper review.
I’ve had way more success in getting agent interest in at least reading my material from pitches than I have through cold querying. I imagine practically anyone would have the same experience, unless they’re failing one of the sanity checks in the list above.
So here’s the downside to pitches: they’re expensive. Some conferences give you a pitch as part of your conference fee, others don’t. They’ll all let you buy more, which can range from $10-$30 per session. Want to talk to ten agents? $300. That’s more than many conference fees. And you’re going to want to go to several conferences. The cost will add up fast. Why talk to that many? Because you’re still up against the odds of numbers that even if you talk to the single-most-likely agent to want to represent your work, if the timing isn’t right (list is full, they rep a similar manuscript already, they don’t have a publisher resource that would want it), you won’t have success in getting representation. A wide net is required.
And I’m gonna reveal the elephant in the room: not all agents you talk to at a conference are there to take on another author. Some of them are there simply for the additional paycheck. It’s an unfortunate side-effect of the machine of the publishing world. Agents don’t get paid for all the up-front effort they go through in scouring the planet for works to represent. They get paid for the fraction of those works that actually get published. And they’ve got to pay the bills like anyone else, so they’ll come to these conferences, go through a bunch of pitch sessions, not actually request materials from anyone, and just collect a check in the end.
Now to be fair, most agents are there to find new authors to rep. I’ve only come across a couple of these bad-faith agents in the dozens of pitch sessions I’ve done, but they’re easy to identify. They don’t ask questions about you or your work, but instead go straight into a planned spiel about the effectiveness of your pitch and ways to improve it. Sometimes they won’t even say that they aren’t interested. I just smile and take whatever feedback they deign to provide and move on.
What to Expect During a Pitch Session
Depending on your conference, pitch sessions last 8 to 10 minutes. You’re going to know who you’re pitching to ahead of time (because you’ve requested/paid to pitch to that particular agent), so you’ve already done your research. You requested that particular agent because they said they rep the kind of thing you wrote. You know their manuscript wishlist, which is typically listed on the conference website, but can also be found elsewhere on the Internet (#MSWL on Twitter, manuscriptwishlist.com, Publisher’s Marketplace, or the agent’s agency website).
When the pitch begins, spend 30-60 seconds talking to the agent as if they’re a human being. Ask how they’re doing, mention a shared hobby or pets or their Twitter feed, or a book they liked on their MWSL that you’ve also read. Be sociable. This helps check boxes from the list above. They’ll probably invite you in short order to talk about your manuscript. I won’t go into the what’s and how’s to pitch your manuscript here, but spend 4-5 minutes talking about your story, then leave the rest of the time for the agent to ask questions.
If they like you and what you’ve discussed, they’ll request pages. Some will have you send it through regular query channels. Most will have a dedicated means for you to skip ahead of the slush pile line (these are the agents that are taking the pitch sessions most seriously), usually a special Query Manager link or separate email.
If they pass, and some will because you will inevitably find yourself barking up the wrong tree on occasion, graciously accept any feedback they provide and then get yourself ready for your next pitch. Because you’re not going to pitch to just one agent, are you?
CLASSES
Anyone who has yet to become a represented and published author still probably has a thing or two to learn about writing stories and/or the publishing industry. The second big draw of a writing conference is all the various breakout room classes you can attend to drink from the proverbial author firehose. Here’s a sampling of various sessions you can expect:
Query letters
Query dos and don’ts
Hooking readers with your opening pages
Compelling dialogue
Crafting believable characters
Avoiding the “mushy middle”
World building
Author platforms and social media
The life of a literary agent
Self-publishing vs. traditional
Non-fiction book proposals
Workshops where you read your first chapter or query letter and receive feedback
Agent Q&A panels
Agent “First Page Gong Show” panels
Large conferences like DFWCon will typically also have a keynote speaker (usually a known published author) in a big audience space like the picture above. The rest of the classes will be in small, 20-30 person breakout rooms.
Most conferences will have some variation of the above. Depending on the size they’ll have some, all, or even more than the above to choose from (like genre-specific workshops for say thrillers or romance). Once you’ve gone to a few conferences, you’ll find the vast majority of the advice inside any one of the sessions is the same, so the return you’ll get from these classes will diminish over time because you will presumably have already been taking the lessons to heart and applying what you’ve learned to your craft and your queries.
The “Gong Show” panels are where a handful of agents will sit and listen as a moderator reads an anonymously submitted first page from a conference attendee (submit yours if you’re brave!). Each agent raises their hand at the point when they would have stopped reading and rejected the query, and if enough agents raise their hand, the moderator will stop reading and then discussion will ensue. These panels are the most useful conference session to me (having attended many conferences in the past few years), as they provide insight from a handful of agents as to what the publishing world is looking for right at that very second. It also reveals the sheer subjectivity of the matter when an agent starts reading a prospective manuscript. Very easy to identify flaws in your own approach to the first page when the agents are all raising their hands at the point when they would have stopped reading. Usually in an hour, the panel will get through 10-12 submissions, and typically only one or two make it through the full page read without most or all of the agents raising their hand and the moderator stopping early.
NETWORKING
Here’s where the online and in-person conferences diverge, as there is limited-to-no networking taking place during online conferences. If you’re like me and find it hard to walk up to random strangers and start making small talk, you won’t find this a huge loss. Online conferences usually lean on social media as the forum for attendees to talk to each other (with limited to middling results).
Big conferences like DFWCon have networking time in the evenings where authors, agents, and others can meet and mingle. Adult beverages will be on offer. The prospect of having time to talk to agents outside of a short pitch session is attractive, but in my experience the opportunities for this are few. Most agents don’t attend the networking hours, and those that do are mobbed. There are hundreds to thousands of writers at these conferences and maybe a couple dozen agents tops. The numbers are not in your favor to get quality alone time with an agent, much less the one that you really want to talk to that reps what you wrote. If you have a positive pitch session with an agent and can arrange to meet with them at the networking event ahead of time, then great. But don’t count on it.
What can you expect to get out of the networking time? You’ll find a few freelance editors and cover art designers milling about, handing out business cards and looking for prospective clients. If you’re in the market for such services, avail yourself. But the vast majority of people there are writers, just like you. If you don’t have a solid group of writers you work with for feedback and accountability, then this could be a good chance for you to find some new peeps.
Attend, rinse, repeat.
There you have it. Now all you gotta do is find a writing conference to attend and get your butt in the chair. Hope to see you there! M
Hi everyone. I’ve not vanished off the face of the Earth, but I have contracted a rather stubborn non-COVID respiratory infection that has had me sidelined for over two weeks now. I am slowly improving and hope to have some new stuff for you soon, including my reaction from an Evening with Neil Gaiman here in Dallas as well as lessons learned from a recent writing conference. Stay tuned!
Actors work hard to remain in character for their films. Some, such as Daniel Day Lewis (above, in Gangs of New York) go so far as to stay in character even while not shooting, to maximize their approach to authenticity. As writers, we have to make sure the characters we are putting to the page remain just as true to who and what they are.
I’m in the car quite a lot and have developed a pretty voracious audiobook habit whilst driving. To improve my own writing, I go through 1-3 books a week at 1.5-2x speed to analyze every story I can cram into my ears. If you’re an audiobookphile and haven’t checked out the Libby app, I highly recommend it. Because it’s free. All you gotta do is connect it to your local library account, and you’ll potentially have access to thousands upon thousands of audiobooks, courtesy of your (already paid for via taxes) library. I can’t imagine my Amazon bill if I was paying Audible for all the audiobooks I go through in a year. Sheesh.
Anyhoo, I digress. I started a new audiobook today (from a bona fide publisher) and a couple hours in got smacked into the face with one of my worldbuilding pet peeves, a failure to keep a character in character. It’s something that many, many writers do without thinking, and (apparently) many professional editors miss during editing.
A character said something they shouldn’t have said.
I don’t mean the character misspoke, or accidentally revealed a secret, or anything like that. In this story, a YA sci-fi tale, the protagonist heard and felt an unfamiliar rumbling and compared it to thunder.
What’s the problem with that? Well, our hero lives in space, on space stations, and has her entire life. In this book’s fictional universe, the people do not have a terrestrial existence. I imagine it’s possible she would have learned of thunder through school or film or whatever. But would it be so ingrained into her speech patterns that she’d use it in a metaphor to describe that rumbling? Noooooooooooo.
Her life is spaceships and space stations. She lived among all manner of noisy, mechanical things. The rumbling could have sounded like an off-balance pressure regulator. Or a T34 Interlocking Phase Inhibitor. Or the ore tumblers at the refinery on Thrackas VII. We’re in space. She’s in space. Stay in space!
Am I being picky? Sure. I imagine plenty of readers would blow right past that and get on with the story. But not everyone. At 60+ audiobooks a year, I’m not exactly the most discriminating of consumers. But in almost every story I’ll hear a detail or two that just makes my inner worldbuilder sad. And this detail pulled me out of the story enough to want to write a blog post about it, so I imagine there are plenty of others out there whose Spidey-senses tingle every time they come across a mistake like this.
I’ll give you a couple more examples.
I did a deep-dive developmental edit for an epic other-world fantasy story for a writer in New Zealand a while back. Ten percent of the way through the entertaining tale, we’re well into the worldbuilding of a chaste anti-magic brotherhood in pursuit of an unknown magic-user among them. Low tech. A castles, swords, carts, and horses affair. A brother hands the hero a plate of food to be delivered to the head of their order. In the first person narrative, the hero describes the plate as mostly vegetables, with the only protein being a wedge of cheese.
The problem there? The word ‘protein’ is something that didn’t come around until the mid 1800s. Over a millennium after the scientific development period of the story. Yes, the story was set in a world other than Earth, but there was absolutely nothing in the writing to indicate that science had developed any farther there than it had here for the level of technology at the time.
The levels of science and technology matter in your writing, even if you’re doing something with medieval knights and castles. Because your characters have to remain in character, in both deed and word. Your knight in shining armor can’t name his speedy horse ‘Turbo’ any more than he can drive a Corvette to save the princess or use a rocket launcher to defeat the dragon. Likewise, he also can’t consider cheese as a part of a group of protein-rich foods because he can’t know about such things. The science to understand what a protein is has yet to be invented.
Later on, still a young man, the hero says he “slept like a baby”. Perfectly normal phrase, one I’m sure we’ve all used at some time or another. Except given the existence the reader is presented with, the orphan hero would have had exactly zero interactions with a baby or parent-of-a-current-baby figure his entire life. He would not be comparing anything, even sleep, to that of a baby, because babies are just not on his mind. Sure, he knows what a baby is, but there are many better ways to skin this cat. I mean, skin a razor-clawed gnurffle.
Colloquial phrases like these are opportunities to instead add depth to the world building. He slept like Old Man Shaw’s toothless guard dog Fezz. He slept like he had eaten three helpings of Father Dooba’s delicious autumn pheasant stew. He slept like he had bathed in the vat of Healer Burdock’s numbing balm she keeps locked in her secret pantry. Pick something in-world, to keep your reader in-world.
In short, we’re building entire worlds here, people. Don’t lean too much on ours, intentionally or otherwise, lest your characters briefly leap out of their boots into a different time or place!
If you’re anything like me, you enjoy a good time at the movies. Marvel movies scratch that itch for me, and millions of others. The sheer enormity of the MCU is mind-blowing, and generally even the subpar outings for Marvel (Ironman 3, Eternals) are better than anything their peers are throwing at the screen.
But when Marvel gets it right (Avengers 1, Captain America: Winter Soldier, Thor: Ragnarok), they completely knock it out of the park. Rare is the cinema experience when you leave a theater and can’t imagine any way to improve it without picking tiny nits, and Marvel has given us a handful of these.
So today I’m going to discuss Shang-Chi and the Legend of the Ten Rings because 1) my daughter watched it this morning on the tail end of a weekend sleepover with her friend, 2) Marvel got oh so close to that hallowed upper echelon with this one, and 3) we can talk about why they didn’t and how they should have done things differently. Because with one major failure, they get an 8/10 stars/mystical kung fu rings/freshly baked banana bread muffins from me. Yes, I made muffins this morning while the kids were watching. So good. I ate like four. Diet starts again tomorrow.
Anyhoo, SPOILERS AHEAD.
I will skip a full recap of the plot and assume you’ve seen the flick. If you haven’t, bravo for continuing to read, but seriously go watch it. It’s a good movie, very entertaining. Just not perfect.
I REPEAT, SPOILERS AHEAD.
First, let’s chat briefly about what Marvel got right, because they, like they usually do, nail most of it.
Casting – Simu Liu as our hero Shang-Chi is a compelling lead, and while the depth of his acting may not reach Ben Kingsley’s Shakespearean level, Marvel films don’t really call for that. Awkwafina is great as the goofy comedic sidekick Katy. Meng’er Xiang is fierce and imposing as Shang-Chi’s sister Xialing, and every bit the fighter he is. Tony Leung is dispassionate father Xu Wenwu that boils with rage under the surface. Lots of great side characters too.
Action – lots of it.
Music – solid.
Comedy – plenty, from a number of places.
MCU tie-ins – Nobody does tie-ins to other films better than Marvel, and they drop a few doozies in there with the inclusion of Benedict Wong’s Wong (first seen in Dr. Strange), the Abomination from way back in the Incredible Hulk movie (with Edward Norton), the return of Ben Kingsley and the “fix” they did to his character Trevor Slattery from Iron-Man 3, and then the requisite post-credit scene featuring Wong, Bruce Banner, and Captain Marvel.
Now let’s talk character, because I think this had the opportunity to be one of the better character growth arcs we’ve seen in a Marvel movie.
Shang-Chi (as Shaun) is hanging out in San Francisco with Katy, enjoying life as a parking valet, but not really doing much with himself or caring to. We learn he’s been in hiding, avoiding his father Xu Wenwu, warlord of the Ten Rings criminal organization (first used with poorly-received audience misdirection in Iron-Man 3). Wenwu wants his son to return to the Ten Rings (and wants Shaun’s half of a jade pendant). Shaun doesn’t want that. So right there is our opening want/need, full of family history and drama. Great.
Our hero, now Shang-Chi, meets up with his sister Xialing after losing his necklace in the introductory fight with Wenwu’s goons. She’s pissed at him for running off and abandoning her after their mom died when they were younger, and they fight. Deeper family wounds, remorse for Shang-Chi. He has to come to terms with her, because she has the other half of the jade pendant, which when paired with his will provide their father with access to their deceased mother’s mythical home of Ta Lo. So they have to work together. All of this is great!
Naturally, they’re captured by Wenwu and brought back to the Ten Rings compound. And now our hero meets our villain. Again. For the first time (on screen).
The classic comic book villain The Mandarin! Wasn’t he in Iron-Man 3? No. No, he wasn’t.
Blessed with a thousand years of life by the ten rings, Xi Wenwu has led a vicious life as leader of the Ten Rings crime organization, up until the point when he (when trying to get into Ta Lo the first time) meets Shang-Chi’s eventual mother, guardian Ying Li. They fight, she kicks his butt, they fall in love. A bad guy is reformed into family man. The rings are set aside.
All is well until Wenwu’s former life catches up with him and Ying Li is murdered. Wenwu reverts. Shang-Chi (as a youngun) is caught up in the violence and eventually flees the Ten Rings syndicate rather than joining his father’s ways. Tragic villain, wounded past established. Marvel is checking all the boxes so far.
Let’s skip to the end. Marvel is setting us up for a son vs. father showdown, right? This is what our minds have been led to believe will be the final, ultimate confrontation.
And we get it. Shang-Chi heeds his mother’s lessons and becomes his own man, rather than the killer in his father’s footsteps. Father and son fight. Shang-Chi wins control of the rings as they battle and cows his father into submission. Power stripped, the villain is due to see the err of his ways, or meet a tragic comeuppance after reconciling as the Elixir payoff of Shang-Chi’s journey. And we get both of those.
But then, we get this…
Wha wha what? The Dweller-in-Darkness, a soul-sucking corrupted dragon thing. Ta Lo has been holding it behind a mystical dragonscale door to save the world from doom. It had been whispering (somehow) to Wenwu via Ying Li’s voice and convinced him she was still alive. So he came to let it out, mistakenly believing it was his wife. And just as Shang-Chi defeats Wenwu, the Dweller breaks free. It sucks out Wenwu’s soul, and now Shang-Chi has to clean up the mess.
Enter climax #2, and while it’s a rousing fight, it has absolutely nothing to do with Shang-Chi’s journey from wayward youth on the run from his criminal father into becoming his own man. The emotional connection for the audience falls flat, because subconsciously we know that everything our hero has been working for and toward for the past two hours doesn’t matter in the slightest because now he has to defeat some dimly-lit monstrosity he didn’t even know existed a day ago. Sure, he had to complete his character arc to win the ten rings in order to gain the power to defeat this new villain. But the Dweller wasn’t Shang-Chi’s antagonist in this movie, his father was.
All the way up to this, we are not educated as to why Wenwu must be kept out of Ta Lo, only that his pursuit of the mythical realm was folly and he would lead it to destruction. We are not told why during the build-up of the story, and only learn of the ultimate threat after Shang-Chi and crew make it to Ta Lo. Way too late to be introducing the audience to the ultimate villain of the story. It has no ties to Shang-Chi. It has no connection to Wenwu, other than using him to escape. It has nothing to do with the whole story until it gets out. Then we have to defeat it or the world is doomed. Just meh.
I don’t possess an ounce of comic book knowledge, so it’s entirely possible this storyline was pulled straight from the pages. Kinda feels like a few mashed together though, and here they threw one too many in right at the end.
When I watched this film in the theater for the first time last year, as Shang-Chi battled the Dweller, I thought to myself “this is totally unnecessary”. I was ready to anoint this movie as another masterful standard-bearer for Marvel, and instead the whole thing fell flat on its face on the dismount. Don’t get me wrong, it’s still one of the better Marvel films for all the great work they did leading up to the second half of the climax. But it’s not on the podium.
So how could Marvel have fixed this? I have three ideas:
Connect Wenwu’s want (return of his wife) with the intentional release of the Dweller. In his ancient texts, Wenwu translates something that makes him believe the Dweller is in possession of Ying Li’s soul and freeing it will also free her. Shang-Chi learns of this midway through, remembers lessons from his mother regarding the Dweller (needs to be added), and suddenly stopping his father has overt save-the-world implications. When he can’t stop his father in time, his failure directly leads to the Dweller’s release, and now the need to defeat the Dweller to save the world is fully Shang-Chi’s to own to complete his growth into hero.
Turn Wenwu into the Dweller. Shang-Chi wins the rings, but won’t kill his father because he still loves him, even if it is the right thing to do (will have to add the inevitable killing of his father mandatory in the growth phase of the arc, which they avoid here to keep Shang-Chi from becoming like his father). Still desperate, Wenwu makes a final deal with the devil and with some mystical MacGuffin (the audience needs to be made aware of this thing earlier on, even if Shang-Chi isn’t), joins forces with the Dweller, giving it corporal (and horrible) form. Shang-Chi is given the final kick in the tail he needs to defeat his father once and for all. Fight ensures. Rings are used with deadly intent against his monster-father and the arc is completed and world saved.
Beef up the fight with Wenwu at the end, but leave it with the father’s defeat. All of the emotional angst and turmoil we’ve invested ourselves in will be satisfied, and the journey will be whole. Save the escape of the Dweller for the end credits scenes, and you’ve got an easy direct setup for Shang-Chi 2.
I think #1 is best, but would have made an already long movie even longer.
There you have it. Did you see Shang-Chi? What did you think? Do you agree with my assessment of the film’s unnecessary second climactic battle? Leave a comment!
The ultimate lesson here? Begin your heroes’ journeys with the end in mind! M
Writers should write every day. Right? Eh, I have a few thoughts…
Not a picture of me. But we all make that face some days. I know I do.
If you’re not ready to write (go read my post on understanding your process), sitting at the computer or your notebook and attempting to pound out word count for the sake of word count is not the most productive thing you could do with your time. Sure, seeing those numbers go up is gratifying, but if your first time quality sucks, you’re really only creating more revising work for yourself later while wasting the “writing time” you have today on words you ultimately have to throw away.
I put “writing time” in quotes, because you can still be productive with those minutes or hours you have in your schedule, even if you’re not adding word count to your work in progress. Have a list:
Writing Things to Do When Not Actually Writing
Think about your work in progress. If you pants like me, then you should be doing this on the regular, “writing time” or not. I may not have an outline written down, but I do know where my scenes and chapters are going, what the character arcs are, how the climax fits, etc. If you’re a plotter, then examine your outline, make sure the setup you had originally still fits what you’ve written down.
Read. Educate yourself on the craft of writing, or just read a novel and pick it apart as you go. Identify themes, arcs, subplots, things you would improve, etc. Understanding the methods other authors use to craft stories you love can only help you do the same.
Take a class. Early on in the process of writing my first manuscript, I realized I needed some training. SMU in Dallas had a great program (sadly now shuttered) called The Writer’s Path, where people from all walks of life would come together to learn from published authors and faculty about writing. I came away well-prepared. You can too!
Read your own stuff. If you have an outline that you are betrothed to, make sure your writing is going to get you to the altar. If you’re pantsing, make sure the voice is appropriate for your genre and age group, and your characters’ actions are internally consistent.
Revise. Here’s where some of you will disagree heartily with me about editing while writing the first draft. If you’ve read my post on process, then I’ve stated my case there. First time quality matters.
Research agents. If you’re planning to enter the query trenches with your manuscript eventually, it doesn’t hurt to build your to-be-queried list as you go. There are a TON of agents out there, but only a small percentage of them are going to be interested in exactly what you wrote. You need to spend your querying time on them, and no others. Read my #1 lesson from querying.
Research self-publishing. If you’re going the other route, then you’ve a lot of work ahead of you. Find your editor(s), cover artist, learn layout, research Amazon vs. everyone else, create a budget strategy, etc.
Find a local writing group or critique partners. If you have those, converse with your compatriots or review their material. If you don’t make time for them, they’re unlikely to make time for you.
Find a conference to attend. Better yet, find several. You can find online-only or in-person events. There are plenty to choose from. I’ve had solid success with pitches through Writing Day Workshops. Dallas has a great event in October called DFWCon. Most of these conferences aren’t free, and pitches cost even more, so mind your budget. But you can learn a lot about all facets of writing, get material reviewed, meet new writing buddies, and speak directly to agents. There is no better way to get through the slush pile than to step around it entirely. I have had *way* more interest in my stories from pitch sessions than I’ve received in responses to unsolicited queries. Way more.
Social media. Use sparingly. Interacting with the writing and reading communities is great if you’re doing it to an end. Build your follower list. Make connections with critique partners or editors or artists. If you’re entertaining yourself and not much else, you could use your writing time better.
So there you have it. Lots of ways to be productive as a writer in those times when the words aren’t coming.
